The Fire of His Love

Sometimes when you are in the midst of enduring a long standing difficult situation that brings heart ache, you don’t feel very loved by God. In fact if you are unaware of God’s purpose behind it, you may feel completely abandoned by Him. But friends this is not the case. God loves you with an everlasting love, but at times that love feels like fire, too hot to handle.

Since my last blog, I have been enduring one of those long standing fiery trials I have written about, and the heat has intensified. I know the Lord uses these times to reveal to me my heart about many things, and so the situation and the spiritual attacks increased. While my faith never waned, the attitude of my heart felt a sense of complacency when it came to doing my thing for the kingdom of God. I could not bring myself to write anything uplifting to inspire others for God’s purpose when I felt so down cast.

I was not angry with God, in fact I was driven to my knees deeper in prayer and supplication. While I could not continue writing my blog in the midst of the fire, I did journal my prayers on my knees for the past few months, reasoning with God, hoping for answers.

Although I have always prayed constantly throughout each day as Gods word instructs, when it comes to my formal evening prayers, I am rather lazy. Just before going to sleep I would say my evening prayers laying down with my head comfortably on my pillow. My thoughts were scattered, coming faster than I could comprehend, and the next thing I knew, I was waking up from my sleep, not remembering the last thing I had prayed. This was habitual until of late.

“The Lord disciplines those he loves.”

What loving parent will not discipline their child to teach them right from wrong or better from worse. That’s how it is with God. But, please don’t confuse discipline with punishment. A discipline is a good habit or a means to promote good habits, whereas punishment is a form of negative discipline.

God desires our heart! While it is true he knows our heart and all of our thoughts and desires, He wants us to share them with Him intimately, not just think them to sleep. He will reason with us if we take the time to really communicate with him and pour out our heart like water to Him. That’s where the miraculous happens, where we hear the voice of the Lord or see his hand at work in our trials. That’s where he gives us the strength to press on and push through until breakthrough comes and we receive the victory.

This waiting is hard and my frustration increases. But, I am taking my faith to the next level by remembering that God is Faithful. It seems as though the devil said to the Lord, “Let her put her money where her mouth is”… and God said, “Okay!” So, as I push through this fiery trial, All I can do is share my pain, so you may know you are not alone in your painful trials. Keep the faith, get on your knees, open your hands in praise to the Lord and receive His blessings. God’s mercies are new each morning. They may not seem to have anything to do with your trial, but they are blessings just the same. One day you’ll look back and say ah-ha now I see.

Here is an interesting side note about journaling my prayers. As I began writing each evening, I had started thanking God for the new mercies I realized from that day. Eventually, the list of thankfulness started to grow exceedingly, and my prayer in the fire was now shorter and very summarized. I felt an air of trust, that I no longer needed to write out every little detail that worried me. This allowed me more time to write out prayers for others in my journal, before my writing hand became tired. My sleep was sweeter, and I had peace and the joy of the Lord in my heart. I have realized that a spirit of thankfulness is a powerful weapon against the enemy who comes to kill, steel and destroy our faith.

The good news is that the peace of Jesus belongs to all who believe in Him. Oh what a fiery trial He endured, that we may have salvation, peace and healing, that we may be made perfect as He was perfect. That is the fire of His love.

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As I continue to endure this trial, I will take care of myself and try not to dwell on the problem. I promise myself to try and have good times in the process. What better way to get back at the enemy, then to enjoy life in spite of all of his attacks. And when this fire finally wanes, I hope my zeal in prayer remains the same. If you have any prayer requests, please email me. May God bless you all, may you recognize His new mercies every morning, and maintain a spirit of thankfulness, for He is Faithful!